


What A Long Ass Ride

by LeilaLynnS



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Fluff, Jaeno, Light Angst, M/M, nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2018-10-13 16:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10517133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeilaLynnS/pseuds/LeilaLynnS
Summary: In which Jaemin always misunderstands and pushes away Jeno.





	1. Unexpected Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> this work got a little reality basis.
> 
> And it's very disturbing.
> 
> Kidding. But really, this is one ball of fluff and pure nonsense.

“Hyung! Please! Get my report card” Jisung kicked Jaemin out of his bed, in which the latter glared at his friend before trying to return to the confines of his precious bed, because, who gets up at 8 am in a Saturday? No one, just as no one wants to be square. Back to the matter at hand, Jaemin poke out his head out of his blanket to look at his friend who was looking genuinely scared.

“Why can’t you get Mark-hyung to get your card? Why does it have to be me?” He droned absent-mindedly as he tried to gather his thoughts straight. “You know that my grades these days are bad, I can’t let Mark-hyung get it” Jisung fiddled with his loose shirt looking like a kicked puppy, and no one can resist Jisung looking like this (especially a certain Chinese male somewhere out there). Jaemin snorted before sitting up finally, “what do you mean these days? Your grades are bad all the time” he chuckled as he dodged an attack from the younger.

“Okay, you’re treating me to the arcade later though” Jaemin stood up to grab his toiletries and sighed a little before starting to prepare.

_You know how much I avoid going back to your school, I can’t bear to face him yet, I mean, it has only been three weeks! What do everyone expect? For a square to become a heart? Unbelievable._

The reason why Jaemin have been faking sleep for at least an hour is because of none other than Jeno Lee (insert Mark’s voice here).

Let me tell you a story of a honor student falling in love unexpectedly to a bottom-tier student.

See, legends say that Na Jaemin actually liked Huang Renjun for almost three years. However, because of some unfortunate circumstances, his life took a turn on the third block, just on the right corner and came head on with Lee Jeno’s chest (insert embarrassment here). So of course, having the most supportive friends, even though Jaemin would never admit to it, he fell for the enigma that is Lee Jeno.

The thing is, Jeno might not talk much (his equally supportive friends does all the talking), but his eyes speaks a thousand words, especially whenever he’s smiling, or even if he’s not, his eyes shone brightly and smile along, and Jaemin only fell deeper with each passing day. The final nail to seal the coffin was when Jeno invited Jaemin to the school dance, and boy, was it not romantic. Jaemin never assumed Jeno liked him, even though everybody says so (“it is very unbecoming to think of such outrage”), and sadly, their short love story ended when the both of them graduated high school and have gone on their own paths. They still communicated though, despite their short-comings, a small talk here and there, but they never met until recently. Jaemin must have saved a country in his past life to get such cliché love story Chenle could almost tweak and create an equally disgusting ending.

However, even though Jaemin must have saved a country in his past life, it seemed as if he was the reincarnation of Hitler because just three weeks earlier he learned that Jeno had a boyfriend. JENO. BOYFRIEND. And what’s worse is that during the duration in which Jeno had a boyfriend, Jaemin was openly flirting. JAEMIN. FLIRTING. JENO. What’s more is that he actually thought Jeno might finally like him, however, for some unknown reason, karma is kicking him on his butt for a sin he never committed (or maybe did, because Mark and Jisung has this weird theory that Jaemin might really be Hitler, or maybe Qin Shi Huang, or maybe an equally ferocious tyrant, because he has the brain of one, though being a living meme, the theory was questionable).

Jaemin was never depressed. The blow was strong, but he never shed a tear (he actually did, he will never admit it though). He was never depressed, but illness struck him. A week after learning about Jeno’s evil-doings, Jaemin had run a high fever, almost near on convulsion, paired up with severe cough and cold, and the cherry on that cake is being diagnosed with an eating disorder and vomiting blood.

Maybe Chenle’s weird depressed phases weren’t so bad, after all, Jaemin took heartbreak to another level.

So yeah, that was the legend of Na Jaemin’s destructive nature, it is on the stores now by the way, just 10 buck-

“Hyung! I know you’re having some monologue there! But stop it! The release of grades is only up until 12 noon!” Jisung bellowed behind the bathroom door, because for goodness sake, Jaemin does this every single time!

“Yah! I’m the one getting your F cards! So show some respect! You ungrateful brat” Jaemin sulked slightly before rinsing the soap off his body which is 30 minutes overdue because of his long self-pity.

 

 

 

“WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SERIOUSLY PARK JISUNG! HOW CAN YOU GET GRADES THIS LOW?!!! I AM REALLY GOING TO TELL MARK HYUNG!! WAHAHAHAHA!!” Jaemin slapped his thigh harshly to imply his mockery on the younger. They were just out after getting Jisung’s card from his class adviser and the elder hadn’t stopped on laughing at their maknae’s demise for the past hour. “Is it that funny? Last time I remember it was you who tripped-” Jisung started recalling an embarrassing episode when Jaemin tripped just like in his anecdote.

Instead of the cold hard ground though, Jaemin’s face collided with a sturdy chest which was vibrating by the way, and wait- isn’t this musky scent a little bit familiar? “It seems like you have never changed one bit, _Nana_ ” The chest- uhm- the owner of the chest chuckled. CODE RED, CODE RED- wait, isn’t it blue? Since Jaemin is in a critical situation- oh whatever, Jaemin jumped back in horror before hiding behind Jisung (who’s irritatingly towering already, how can a 14-year-old be tall like that?!).

Jisung shook his head before turning to Jeno and smiling at the older, “Hi there hyung, sorry about this guy here” he pointed at the weird male behind him which is looking like a meercat with how he keeps on taking a peek at the source of his anguish before squealing and then hiding back again.

Jeno chuckled at the adorable act Jaemin is doing and just gave Jisung a smile of recognition, “Nah, it’s fine, he’s adorable that way”, with this Jaemin shrieked before straightening himself and pointing an accusing finger at Jeno, whom, irritatingly, just chuckled again (Jaemin really tries so hard to think it is irritating, but who is he kidding anyways), “Y-yah! What are you even talking about! Stop talking n-nonsense!” the defensive fool stuttered and only embarrassed himself further which led him to receive a painful nudge in his ribs by his unamused friend, “You’re the one talking nonsense hyung, we’re really sorry Jeno hyung, it seemed as if Jaeminnie hyung didn’t took his morning pills” Jisung threw a glare into Jaemin’s direction in which the latter ignored as he continued with his nonsense ramblings.

“W-waah! This is very disappointing Jisung Park!” Jaemin exclaimed while throwing his hands in the air, “I just got your report card and promised not to tell Mark hyung about how it is swimming with red and F- which by the way is very amusing by the way- and now you’re siding with that two-faced-two-timing-and-manipulative jerk?! How could you do this?!” Jaemin, in the span of 15 seconds, was a sobbing mess as he looks back and forth with Jisung and Jeno, because really, how could Park Jisung do this to him? After all these years? After taking care of Jisung since the boy was in his diapers? After giving birth- no, that’s a little far-fetched, but, you get his point: HOW DARE JISUNG BETRAY HIM WHEN THE GUY CAN’T EVEN SAY MANGOSTEEN PROPERLY?!

Jaemin is overreacting though, because Jisung just gave him a what-the-hell-is-this-fool-blabbering-about look and Jeno’s smile widen at the adorable sight- which is really just Jaemin being snotty and puffy and basically looking like a fool.

“Hyung, stop overreacting. Just admit you like Jeno hyung” Jisung deadpanned at Jaemin and oh boy, what a mistake he did! Even Zeus can’t say that to Jaemin! Not even Kronos who eats his children dare to tell that to Na Jaemin face-to-face! Nobody dares to, unless they want to join the Titans in the underworld, but oh boy, such a disaster Park Jisung did, for black miasma suddenly surrounded the three of them.

And only then, did Lee Jeno and Park Jisung realized how much they fucked up.


	2. The Emitted Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How everybody suffers because of Jaemin's insanity

Mark sighs for the hundredth time as he continued pacing back and forth across the room whereas Jaemin is still sobbing under Renjun’s wing and Jisung is in the dining area getting reprimand from Chenle and Donghyuck.

“Waaaahhhh! How could Jisungie do this to me?! My baby betraying me! What an insolence! Waahhh, Renjunnie! You’re the only one I’ve got!” Jaemin kept on wailing and sputtering nonsense amidst his snot covered face. Renjun, being the kind-hearted person he is, doesn’t mind and just kept on patting the strange male’s head, good thing Renjun is the one who’s comforting him, because if it is Donghyuck, the latter might’ve threw Jaemin to another galaxy because of how ugly he is while crying like a child who was given a strawberry flavoured ice cream when he clearly hates it, and it was given by his mother nonetheless, imagine the betrayal.

Mark massaged his temples before stopping on his tracks, “shut it Nana, you’re overreacting again, and Hyuck! Please bring Ji here.” he rolled his eyes before slumping into one of their couches, still massaging his temples in hopes of alleviating the incoming headache he will be sporting because of his crazy housemates.

Jaemin was outraged. How could his favorite hyung do this to him? How can Mark tell him he was overreacting?! It was they who are not reacting properly at all! Can’t they realize the gravity of the situation? Can’t they realize how serious this is?! How this can cause the third World War?! How this is similar to the start of the Trojan War?! This can cause-

“Nana, stop overreacting, or I’ll smack you.” This short statement of Donghyuck sent chills across Jaemin’s back and made him jumped from Renjun’s embrace, trust Donghyuck to actually ensue order even when he’s quite the troublemaker himself, “Now guys, don’t be too hard on Nana, he’s too fragile” Renjun took Jaemin back into his arms before continuing to pat the younger’s head

“Waah, Renjunnie, this is exactly why I liked you, can I just like you again?” Jaemin looked up to Renjun and sniffed while trying to look cute, this statement earned a chuckle from the said male and a scoff from Donghyuck, becaue Jaemin really needs to come back to his senses, it’s getting disturbing (mostly disgusting), and knowing the younger male, he’ll probably develop some sort of disorder along the way, so, yeah, Donghyuck really wants to smack his head often times.

“Okay, Nana, as much as we love you, Jisung really did no wrong, you’re the one who embarrassed yourself in front of-” Mark, being the ever rational oldest, tried controlling the situation without making the maknae feel guilty for triggering the crazed male which is basically close to nothing (other than being savage), but also being the most stupid (courtesy of Donghyuck), he’ll only worsen it, “oh no you don’t! Don’t you dare speak out his name Mark Lee.” Jaemin stood up and tried to looked down on Mark, because no one, I repeat, NO ONE, dares to say a specific arsehole’s name in front of Nana, nobody. Just as nobody wants to be square.

Mark rolled his eyes before nodding, because he doesn’t really want to trigger Jaemin, first, for the younger’s mental welfare, but mainly his own, “fine, but it was really you who embarrassed yourself in front of You-know-who, so stop putting all the blame on Jisung, though Ji, you gotta work on your respect, stop hanging out with Hyuck all the time, and that includes you Lele” there was countless protests around the room with Donghyuck overpowering them all with his “Why am I being blamed again?! Unbelievable!” and Jisung and Chenle’s protest were nonexistent though, because really, who cares even if they don’t have any Lee Donghyuck in their lives? Everyone, because it is such a miracle to shake off that savage man out of their lives (they love Donghyuck, there really are just times when they want to choke him or throw him out of the universe, but don’t mistake them, they do love him).

“Shut up everybody, now back onto the matter at hand, Nana, we love you, really, so much,” Mark took Jaemin’s hand into his as he looks into the eyes of the younger, and Jaemin was touched, because he can feel the love the elder has for him, how much Mark cared for him, how- “so we set a date for you and Jeno.” Mark gave a smile at Jaemin and the latter felt betrayed, two betrayals in one day, one from his favorite dongsaeng, and the other from his favorite hyung, in despise, he screamed before going in a defensive stance, “TRAITOR!”

Jaemin stood on the couch before eyeing all of them, “You think I will succumb to you?! NEVER?! I, Na Jaemin, will never fall prey to the hands of that snake Lee Jeno! And even though you betray me, I forgive you, but you can never make me see that douchebag- t-that, scoundrel! I will never see that python! NEVER!”

Yes, Na Jaemin will never see that scumbag, never again.

 

 

 

“WAAHHHH!! RENJUNNIE! HELP ME!!! YOU IMBECILES! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME?! SUCH AN INSOLENCE! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU MORTALS!” Jaemin didn’t stopped on screaming profanities as three fully-grown man tied him to a seat in Jeno’s shared house.

“I’m really sorry hyung for the disturbance, but y’know, we promised Jeno this large piece of insanity.” Mark bowed at Jeno’s housemates who just chuckled and shrugged before slumping onto the couch beside them, amused at the scene Jaemin is creating.

Mark just kept on holding Jaemin’s shoulder in hopes of keeping the younger male still but to no avail, “Yah Youngho, Yuta, why aren’t you helping the poor boy hold down Nana?” Taeyong, another of Jeno’s housemates, entered the living room and smacked the other two’s head before approaching Jaemin and caressing the younger’s head and smiling at Mark, “Nobody can even hold down this cutie, now now Nana, calm down, want a cookie?” the kind elder smiled down at the hysterical young man, whom, at the mention of cookie, stopped growling and smiled sweetly at Taeyong and threw Youngho, Yuta, and Mark glares.

Mark sighed, if only he knew that Taeyong and cookie can calm down Nana, then he would’ve asked help from the elder long before rather than called the two dumbs and spent at least 30 minutes trying to tie Nana down in the chair in the living room.

“Hyung untie me, or I’ll burn all your unfinished manuscripts for your creative writing and your lyrics notebooks.” Jaemin glared at Mark, and of course, this is Jaemin we are talking about, he can plan an assassination and get away with it and still feel no remorse, so what more are his poor manuscripts and lyrics, so Mark being Mark (being a wuss more likely), obliged and let Jaemin go.

Jaemin smiled at Taeyong once more as they head to the dining room where Taeyong prepared some cookies for him.

And where Jeno Lee is waiting.

And sure as hell, the moment Jaemin saw him, a scream broke out.

Mark, Youngho, and Yuta just sighed as they further plopped their asses in the couch, because really, getting Jaemin and Jeno together is such a pain in the ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at first, I was planning to really have a little reality basis, but as I was proceeding on writing this, I decided to drop that thought and be crazy for once and follow no specific outline.
> 
> Sorry. This will be a long ass ride for you as it was for me.


	3. Please aboard the ship we call JAENO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno finally manned up and Jaemin finally stopped being crazy.

Jaemin glared at Jeno while keeping his arms crossed in front of his chest, Jeno, on the other hand just keep on smiling while nibbling on his cookie, and it is outrageous, mostly on Jaemin’s part, because the other male had the audacity to smile when he clearly knows how he have played with Jaemin by flirting with the latter while having a damn boyfriend whom Jaemin has no interest or whatsoever of meeting the forsaken dude.

Taeyong was amused at the interaction having known all the backstories behind the two and the whole misunderstanding these two faces. However, amidst the amusement is also frustration, because really, it’s obvious the two of them like each other but because of Jeno’s shyness to confess mixed with overly cryptic actions and Jaemin’s overly creative mind with a little bit of skepticism, the two is not progressing, what’s worse is the hatred Jaemin have developed against the other because of misunderstanding Jeno all these time. Jeno Lee really needs to step up his game because signals and signs won’t work with Nana even though they’re clearer than the sun, because this is Nana we are talking about, and as smart as he is (it’s true, though it’s highly doubtful, that guy can read a 500-paged book once and tell you the story in detail), he’s the densest and dumbest when it comes to feelings, especially when it’s about other people’s feelings for him. Taeyong sighed as he continued to take out the newly baked cookies from the oven.

Jeno just kept his smile even though he’s pretty sure that if glares could kill, he’d be dead long ago with how intense Jaemin is glaring at him (and probably muttering jinxes by now, Mark shouldn’t have let this kid finished the Harry Potter series), but he really likes Jaemin, and with how messed up everything has become, he can’t sit back once more and let Jaemin’s twisted mind work, because his silence has only worsened everything, he’s got to man up and gain Jaemin’s heart once more (he’s got guts to assume that Jaemin even liked him in the first place).

Jaemin, on the other hand, is pissed. First, just the day before, he was unceremoniously taken out of bed in order to get Jisung’s bloody card, and where did that get him? Against Lee fucking Jeno’s chest. The next day, he was pulled out of the confines of his precious bed only to be tied to a damned chair inside Lee Jeno’s shared house.

First, tied to a commitment he was not aware of, next, tied to a chair and was made to look like a crazy fool (in which, he really is), and now, tied in a situation he never had any desire to face, imagine the joy (insert sarcasm here, my dear friend).

But dear friends, isn’t it frustrating? Jeno likes Jaemin. Jaemin likes Jeno. They should be together, BUT BECAUSE OF NA JAEMIN’S TWISTED MIND AND LEE JENO’S NATURAL SILENCE AND MISLEADING ACTIONS, I HAVE TO WRITE A SHITLOAD OF THOUGHTS- all jokes aside though, Taeyong put the cookies in front of Jeno and Jaemin before patting both of them on the shoulders, “I’ll leave you two, have fun!” he beamed at them before strutting out of the dining room, leaving the two with Jaemin staring helplessly at the path the elder just walked through.

Jeno chuckled at the cute sight, Jaemin’s too cute for his own good and it’s only working against his favor seeing how it affects his functionality. Jaemin, hearing the ~~endearing~~ unpleasant sound of the other’s laugh, whipped his head back before looking down on his lap, he just won’t let the other male win this war of nerves, it’s frustrating to see how hard he is fighting his feelings just because of his so-called pride and dignity, because nope, he will never be the one to declare his non-existent feelings (non-existent my ass).

“Help yourself with these cookies, Taeyong hyung made them with you in mind” Jeno gestured towards the cookies in front of them before adding, “I specifically asked him to add more chocolate chips, you like them, don’t you?”  with a worried look on his face, he wants this day to be perfect, but seeing how things started and Jaemin’s glare at him, he’s starting to doubt himself.

Jaemin, being the pig he is towards sweets, grabbed a cookie, because why not, the chips are delicious, not to mention how great of a cook Taeyong is, and it’s been long since he’s had home-made cookies (Mark can’t cook to save his life, and Donghyuck’s too lazy unless possessed), so he nibbled on a cookie while avoiding Jeno’s gaze which never left him for a second. It’s really uncomfortable, being watched while eating, not to mention that the person watching you eat is the very same person whom is the subject of your attraction (even though Jaemin won’t ever admit it aloud), because even though the cookies tasted like heaven, Jaemin can’t pig them out, being cautious of his image and all (if he still has his intact after all those fits), “Stop staring, will you? I can’t eat properly because of you” Jaemin mumbled while looking down, if being in front of Jeno was the solution to Jaemin’s loud mouth, Donghyuck would be more than willing to tie him to that chair just to shut him.

Jeno blushed at the sudden remark, but gained composure right away and, you know, rom-com, threw some cheesy remark, “Sorry if I’m staring, I just can’t help but look at my dream”, and though a success, one must admit how embarrassing he is.

Jaemin stared at him blankly before smiling widely that quickly integrated into a huge fit of laughter, he’s quite amused at Jeno’s poor attempt at flirting that he’s totally forgotten all about his façade and Jeno couldn’t be happier, he’s happy that he’s finally seen the smile he’s missed so much, what’s more is that he caused this smile and he made Jaemin laughed, and his heart couldn’t swell more.

“You’ve got quite the humour, I wonder why I never talked to you before.” Jaemin tilted his head as he continued nibbling on his cookie, it really is strange how he and the other male never conversed properly, it is always either survival questions (for Jeno) or trashing around (that’s mostly Jaemin for you), so talking properly is quite a nice change for Jaemin, because now, he knows Jeno is not an idiot and actually had a brain for a simple decent conversation, so that’s a relief.

Silence threatened to fall once more and Jeno grew scared that he’ll lose the opportunity to ask Jaemin out for a change, he must ask the latter now, because if not now, he doesn’t know anymore where to gain the unbelievable confidence he’s showing to the other male.

In case everybody’s wondering, Jeno actually asked for tutorials from his beloved roommates on how to woo someone (blame Johnny for the colorful vocabulary *cringes*). He’s spent the whole night on bugging his hyungs to teach him lines which will help him in overcoming brutal boundaries between him and Jaemin and also lift the mood up. Johnny was surprisingly very hands-on in helping Jeno (though it’s mainly because he wants JaeNo to be a thing so that he could gain some points from Ten, Jaemin’s cousin), which though helped boost his confidence, only made him look like a fool, though it has paid off, considering how Jaemin laughed at his poor attempts.

Jeno take in a large amount of air before dropping his last bomb.

“Jaemin, will you spend the rest of the day with me?”

Jaemin stopped eating a cookie.

No more JaeYong guys, YuSol will cry, MarkHyuck what? JaeNo will start to sail and all those OTPs will cry, because finally, fucking finally, Jeno’s manned up and finally asked Jaemin on a proper date.

All the boys eavesdropping felt their hearts thumping loudly against their chests as they await Jaemin’s reply together with Jeno, because the last thing they want is for Jaemin to decline and cause another depression, or a bipolar disorder, or maybe even dissociative disorder, or worse… sociopathy, but really, everybody’s nervous as they await Jaemin’s answer, more on Jeno’s part, because good gracious, the guy even paid Johnny’s nonsense tutorial just to gain confidence, so please, dear universe, don’t fuck this up for him.

And soon enough, an answer was heard.

“Sure.”

Finally, fucking finally, the ship will sail, please be ready to board everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, I updated, I promise this won't take long, because I have commitment issues, so this will be 7 chapters tops, because really, this is just a random word vomit.


	4. Happy Ending Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin may or may not be falling once more to the enigma that is Lee Jeno.

Sunday is probably one of the busiest time of the week; families can be seen around the amusement park and couples loiter around while being cringe-worthy as they act all mushy and lovey-dovey which made Jaemin shudder.

On the other leg- hand, Jaemin keeps on sticking beside Jeno because of the horrendous environment around (with couples defiling the air and children losing their innocence bit by bit, but oh well, it’s only Jaemin’s paranoia and occasional resent talking). Jeno is thoroughly amused at the younger and took the opportunity to slip his hand across the younger’s waist and pulled him closer; please curse Johnny Seo’s 500,000 won flirting classes people, it is too toxic for Jeno.

Jaemin gasped at the sudden contact and whipped his wandering eyes towards Jeno. It was surprising, truly, for first, he never expected that the elder was this bold (mainly thinking how the elder doesn’t have half the brains to think of such acts, but well, expect the unexpected), it caught him off-guard which caused him blushing like a ripe tomato, imagine the shame.

“Yah, what are you doing!” Jaemin whispered in a frantic voice, because how could he not? The skinship is doing all sorts of weird things inside him; for example, the countless flips his heart just did, the butterflies that kept on flying inside his stomach, and of course, his blood just gathered in his head which made him blush as if there was no tomorrow.

Jeno paid no heed at the other’s worries because dang, he waited 4 years- uhm- a little more than a year just to hold Jaemin in his arms, to have him within a one-meter radius, and now that he’s getting his biggest wish, do you think he’ll let go? Hell, no.

Jaemin noticed how adamant the other is in keeping him close so he just settled in groaning but leaned in nonetheless, “Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s just cold” he tried to justify his weird action, but who is he kidding anyway, it is the middle of the summer, how on earth is it cold? Typical Na Jaemin everyone.

Jeno chuckled at Jaemin’s adorable actions, “sure, sure, I believe you.” He nodded while keeping his eyes forward, he’s very pleased with how things are turning; he first thought that the future was bleak as he saw Jaemin being dragged inside the living room by Mark, Youngho, and Yuta, but even though it was hard work, it was all worth it having the younger male pressed against his side.

Jeno planned the whole day ahead (feat. our very own Johnny Seo) as he wanted to prevent any hitches from happening (with a huge possibility of Jaemin lunging towards his throat in an attempt to strangle him to death); as his first course of action for the day, he grabbed Jaemin towards the Anchors Away; he knows how much Jaemin wanted to try riding the ride but was unable to because of his strict parents (at first, but then came Mark Lee came whom was equally strict, if not more, than Mr. and Mrs. Na), so Jeno got around and asked for permission from Jaemin’s parents (and Mark) to take him on dangerous rides for their date (he’s lucky he’s handsome or else Mr. and Mrs. Na would’ve flipped and slit his throat for even thinking such absurdity).

So here he is, getting quite an earful from Jaemin whom he’s cowering from because _he’s so thoughtless, selfish, impulsive, absurd,_ and any adjective that is a synonym of the words described, “I cannot believe this Lee Jeno, _I fucking hate heights_ ” Jaemin narrowed his eyes at the poor male; maybe Jeno is wrong, maybe Jaemin doesn’t really want to try those rides and it is just his imagination talking.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that… every time I spotted you with your friends, you always stare longingly at the Anchors Away and the rollercoaster, so I assumed that you must have wanted to… _ride them_ …” Jeno felt small at the outraged male in front of him; he’s too delusional for thinking that everything will go well for once, but here he is again, fucking up his hard-earned chance to prove himself to the younger.

Jaemin blushed at the statement; _Jeno had been watching over him all these time_ , and here he thought he’s the only one who’s paying attention. “Y-yah, stop sulking, let’s just get this over.” he stuttered as he strutted towards the end of the line for the ride.

Jeno grinned happily; Jaemin is still feeling something for him and that is for certain. He happily skipped towards the end of the line without letting go of Jaemin’s hand for even a second.

Jaemin is fucked.

 

 

 

He’s totally fucked.

After the life-threatening Anchors Away, Jaemin staggered trying to get as far away as possible from the torture device _disguised as a form of recreation and amusement_. Jeno on the other hand, kept on assisting Jaemin in fear of the latter suddenly dropping because of dizziness; despite the worry, Jeno beamed at the adorable younger (this guy is too sadistic, please restrain him).

Jaemin wanted to sob; how can a person contain so much idiocy in his system like Jaemin? Just because he can’t handle Jeno looking crestfallenly because of rejection doesn’t equate to him agreeing to all irrational requests the latter pops out. _Supposedly._ That was a wish he wishes to achieve (my ass, Jaemin can never say ‘no’ to a dejected Jeno).

“No more rides for now please, I want to gather my sanity back.” Jaemin breathed as he leaned towards a railing, legs still weak from the distress the ride caused him. He slumped to the nearest bench his blurred eyes have set upon, he planned on giving Jeno a glare so he could get across how much he doesn’t want to replay the horror he’d experienced, but all those thoughts went down the drain as he gazed up on the smiling angel of his, with those wonderful background and lightings and shit, so he just settled for a pout, damn that smile cheat.

“Wait here, I’ll grab something to eat, and I promise, after this, no more deadly rides. We’ll just ride the carousel.” Jeno smiled as he ruffled Jaemin’s hair and then running off to a nearby food stall to buy the both of them some snacks.

The sun is slowly setting in the horizon and Jaemin can’t help but smile as he kept his eyes towards Jeno whom was buying food for him. This was what his heart kept on yearning for so long, and to realize that it was already realized, it was pure euphoria.

Jaemin beamed as he looked down his lap, _today was a very good day, I wish it never ends_.

Everything is going too well, as Jeno places a box of fries and hamburger with drink on Jaemin’s lap and beamed down before settling beside him. Everything is so peaceful as each takes a bite of their own hamburgers and basks in the scenery.

Everything was so perfect, until an ill-willed female blocked the wonderful scenery as she greets the both of them _a little too enthusiastically_ , which made them stop eating as her eyes glints with mischief.

“Waah! Jaemin! Jeno! I never thought I’ll meet you here!”

It was already unpleasant as it is, just seeing the girl was annoying enough, what more when she opened her mouth and dropped a goddamn cherry bomb (pardon the allusion) that crushed Jaemin’s hopes, dreams, wishes, and all that’s left was the gnawing anger he has towards Jeno.

“Congratulations Jeno for getting together with Renjun! You two are my OTP now! ReNo!”

Jaemin stood and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated after almost one month. I am deeply sorry if this was long overdue, but unexpected occurences happened which led to the postponment of this chapter.
> 
> Again, deeply sorry if this chapter is shitty. :( 


	5. When the Cherry Bomb explodes

The boys felt chills run up their spines at the gnawing silence which ate their whole dorm ever since Jaemin returned from his date with Jeno. Well, not exactly total silence since Chen Le and Donghyuck is far from being the epitome of peace, but so is Jaemin. However, the latter is far from his usual self.

Donghyuck appeared from the kitchen and let out a sigh as he looked towards the eldest, “Hyung, please go get Nana. The guy’s gotta eat at some point or he’ll throw up his stomach bile once more.”

Mark sighed exasperatedly, can’t Donghyuck see that he’s been doing that for almost two days? Jaemin has not eaten anything except water for almost four days and Jeno has been constantly calling them if Jaemin is okay because of his inability to come by to check because of Donghyuck and Doyoung’s threat if he ever dares to hurt Jaemin.

“I’ve been trying Hyuck, but Nana wouldn’t budge. His condition is getting worse. This is more severe than before, we gotta call Hansol hyung.” Mark pulled at his hair in frustration.

Renjun frowned at everyone, “Don’t give up just yet, I will try and get Nana, alright? But yeah, I agree we need to call Hansol hyung.” He stood up and started heading towards Jaemin’s room but everybody screamed that he stops.

Renjun frowned once more and looked at everyone as if they had become some sort of ten-headed beast. Sensing his hyungs discomfort in revealing the truth to the angelic male, Jisung covered for everyone, “You’ll just worsen him hyung.” He deadpanned making Donghyuck, Mark, and Chen Le glare at him, “b-because, you know, kn-knowing you hyung, you’ll cry seeing him suffer and then he’ll cry too and thendkrbjnkj….” Jisung mumbled. Well it wasn’t exactly a lie. Not all.

The angelic male seemed to ponder about it before finally buying it and sat on his place once more.

This has been the scenario inside their dorm for almost 96 hours, everyone will try to pull Jaemin out of his mind but to no avail, and Renjun will always try to help but everybody will make up a lie in order to stop him. Everybody always stops Renjun because he’s one of the major reasons why Jaemin is locked up inside his room and intakes nothing but water.

Everybody, except Renjun, knew the reason why Jaemin was self-destructing. Doyoung managed to squeeze it out of him when he visited and then told Donghyuck, whom dutifully updated everybody except Renjun. The poor boy’s too kind, if he knew he was the reason, he might cry for 72 hours straight and nobody can take that, it’ll break their hearts (more like their ears and heads).

Mark stood up finally, he can’t take this anymore.

“I’m going to go fetch Hansol hyung.”

 

 

 

Everything hurts.

That was what Jaemin thought first the moment his eyes opened for the 5th time. Too much time must’ve passed for his stomach was growling violently and his throat was so parched he can hardly let out a sound.

He doesn’t open his eyes despite being awake, because what’s the point anyway? Reality and his dreams doesn’t differ that much, he’s hurt by his dreams as much as reality did that it doesn’t bother him anymore.

Thirst still overcame him so he opened his eyes and sat up to drink. He walked lazily towards the refrigerator across the room and plopped down as soon as he was near; he was too tired and hurt to even carry himself for a few minutes.

Not even a fraction of second passed when the water touched his stomach when it turned against him, making him throw up right then and there.

What he thought to be a relief for his pain turned out to be another trigger which will worsen it, something Jaemin proved again and again. He could not believe that even water will turn its back against him, something that is supposed to be one of the main sources of life will bring him more despair.

Jaemin sobbed lightly as he continued to throw up his stomach bile. He felt like his insides were burning, like it was suddenly set on fire as he continued to retch, remnants of food is absent for he had already retched his last food intake about 46 hours prior.

After his stomach felt like it is enough, he used the little strength in him and moved a little further from the mess he had created and finally gave up on the floor.

He closed his eyes and think for it was the only thing he could do in his state, he doesn’t have any strength nor will left in him to even call for help, for what’s the purpose, nobody can hear him anyway.

He could not believe that he was played by Lee Jeno _once more_ , he could not believe he was being played all those times, and he could not believe he was betrayed by his friend.

Tears continued to cascade down Jaemin’s eyes as his chest constricted once more because his mind kept on replaying like a mantra that Renjun was Jeno’s boyfriend. Loathe was slowly creeping its way on his heart to harden it when memories of his friendship with Renjun flashes before his eyes.

 _He lied to me._ Remember when he broke up with Yukhei last year because he talked badly about you?

 _He deserves to vanish._ He risked his life saving you when you almost drowned back in 3rd grade.

 _He must be happy seeing me so broken._ He always patched you up whenever you fall and wound yourself, remember?

 _He’s the reason for my demise._ He can’t even tell which is right and left, what more plan your demise.

 _I want to hate him._ Yet Renjun will always love you even in your misgivings.

 

Jaemin realized that no matter what, he can never hate his friend, he can never hate Renjun even if the latter intentionally ruins his life.

And he hates himself for thinking about it, because he knows that Renjun will never intentionally hurt him. He’s such an asshole for thinking those horrible things against his friend when his friend will take any beating for him even for the stupidest of reasons.

He wanted to blame Jeno, but he could not, for by the end of the day, everything was his fault, it was his fault that Jeno wanted to crush him, it was his fault that he’s incapable of loving someone like a normal person, it was his fault that he drove Jeno away in the first place, and it was his goddamn fault he’s suffering right now.

Everything hurts, his limbs, his back, his stomach, his throat, his head, _especially_ his chest. Everything hurts so much he can’t even lift his fingers. Everything hurts so much he just wanted to black out and never wander between dreams and reality once more.

_Please just take me away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the fifth chapter of What A Long Ass Ride. I am deeply sorry if it became to dark real quick (I also don't know how did that happened).   
> And on a side note (which is pretty ironic since this is an end note), hello fello NCTzens! We finally have our own fandom name (it still feels foreign, and a little weird in the mouth)!  
> And please blame Jaehyun's and Yuta's biceps for ruining me, it lead me to this monstrosity. 
> 
> And also before I forget, PD 101 S2 is ending! I'm really hoping my babies get into TOP 11 (which is another irony since I love everyone, the hardships of loving 100 boys).


	6. Just finish the goddamn chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno explained his side to Donghyuck with Hansol being an overprotected hyung to Jaemin (and an asshole to Jeno). Jaemin was hospitalized by the way.

Time seemed to stop for Jeno seeing the mess Jaemin is in. Tears pooled in his eyes as he eyed Jaemin’s figure on the floor and the state of the latter’s room. His chest tightened upon realization of what he had caused the younger, of how much pain he’d inflicted upon the younger, of how stupid he is for letting Jaemin ran away when they met Yeri at the amusement park.

He slowly approached Jaemin, thinking the other might be awake and suddenly go into some kind of fit. However, anxiety filled him as he received no response from the younger even when he knocked over a table on the way. Seeing the non-responsiveness of the younger, Jeno rushed over to Jaemin and nearly fainted seeing the blood that is mixed on the latter’s vomit. Sirens rang inside his head and he took the limp body into his arms. His whole world crashed seeing that Jaemin is indeed _in danger_.

“Hyung! Mark Hyung! Donghyuck! Anybody! Help! Nana vomited blood and is unconscious!” Jeno kept on screaming as he clutched the younger’s limp body. Unconsciously, tears streamed down his face in anxiety, guilt, grief, and alarm; had he known that Jaemin will be like this, he would’ve never taken Johnny’s advice of giving Nana some space (and to think that he paid quite the sum for those nonsensical lessons).

“Nana, please don’t you dare give up, please.” He kept on pleading while rocking Jaemin’s body until it was harshly pulled from his grasp by none other than Hansol.

“Nana?!” The newcomer shook his baby cousin’s body, which lay limp despite the disturbance. “Doyoung! Mark! C’mere! Nana’s vomited blood!” He called for the two to help him carry his unconscious cousin.

Hansol tried to remain rational, but he can’t help but despise the younger male beside him. He knows that Jeno doesn’t really have any direct fault regarding his cousin’s near demise, but he’s still a regular person, a loving hyung towards his dongsaeng, and he doesn’t want Jaemin to repeat their family’s history, so nobody can blame him if he hates the stimulus that pushed Jaemin to a wreckage.

Mark, Donghyuck, Doyoung, and Jaehyun rushed inside the room as they heard Hansol’s scream and felt their stomachs churning at the wreck Jaemin had become. Doyoung gasped and stuck closer to Jaehyun whereas Mark almost collapsed at the sight if not for Donghyuck whom pulled him closer.

Jeno sobbed quietly as he kept his eyes locked on Jaemin’s unconscious body. He can’t blame Hansol for acting hostile towards him; it was his fault in the first place anyway, it was his goddamn fault for not being brave enough.

Everything passed by in a blur; Hansol screamed at the four newcomers to help him carry Jaemin to the car; Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Mark followed Hansol and they head towards the nearest hospital, leaving Donghyuck to usher Jeno outside of Jaemin’s bedroom.

After hearing Hansol’s car leaving, Donghyuck looked at Jeno whom is still sobbing quietly while seating on the living room. Donghyuck sighed as he took a seat beside the other male, “Stop crying Jeno-yah, Nana will be alright. You know how strong that maniac is, he’s been here before.”

Jeno looked at Donghyuck and the latter suddenly felt guilty for ousting Nana’s tendencies. “Well yeah. Nana has never been normal anyway, I might get killed after this, but I just want to let you know that not everything is your fault; I don’t even know if you actually had anything to do with this.” Donghyuck leaned back and stared at the ceiling before continuing his documenta- statement. “Nana has always been special, he laughs the hardest even when everything is harsh, he will hide all his pain in fear of getting judged; he has always been complicated, it bothered us at first, but I guess that’s how you learn to love him.”

“I know what happened; the cause of this whole madness. I just did not say anything in fear of hurting Renjun as well. What happened anyway? Why is Renjun suddenly in the picture? It was already pain in the ass trying to get you and Nana together, so why the hell is Renjun suddenly a wall that pushed Nana?” Donghyuck stared at Jeno straight in the eye, hoping to squeeze anything which might help him in solving this one great labyrinth everyone has been thrusted into.

Jeno closed his eyes before drawing a deep breath, he had never thought that the simple act of befriending one of Jaemin’s friends in order to get closer to the latter would be the main cause of their continuous fallout. “I just tried to befriend Jun because, you know, I wanted to get closer to Nana even more; Jun is aware of this part, but I never thought that my stupid classmates would think that he’s my boyfriend. He’s nothing more than a friend, and he likes Yukhei hyung, for goodness sake!” he sighed, exasperated at how complicated things had taken a turn. If only he knew the consequences of each action he made, if only he was able to break down all the possible outcomes of his decisions, then this tragedy wouldn’t have happened.

Donghyuck sighed at the self-depreciating moment Jeno took after explaining himself; Jeno and Jaemin share so many traits that it made the tan male wonder why the hell they aren’t together; it must be because of Jeno’s natural aloofness, or maybe because of Jaemin’s natural tendency to hide his feelings, either way, they are both hurting and the only cure was for them to sit down for a talk and finally clear out every single misunderstanding known to mankind.

“You know what, get your ass up and follow them. If you don’t clear up things with Nana the moment he wakes up, you will never have the chance to, trust me.” Donghyuck patted the other’s shoulder before standing to talk with Renjun whom was waiting back in his room.

“Oh, before I forgot, _beware of Hansol hyung._ ”

 

 

 

Silence filled Jaemin’s room and the only thing which could be heard was the beeping of the machine beside his bed. Across the bed stood Hansol who kept on actively glaring at Jeno while being calmed down by Yuta. On the left was Jeno who whimpers every millisecond because of how painful Hansol’s glares are, it felt like somebody is pointing a dagger at him (which was near from reality because Hansol is near on sprinting and pointing that plastic bread knife at the young man).

To have that sight the first thing you see when you open your eyes isn’t exactly appealing, but it is amusing and will not make a misunderstanding that you are already dead because of the extremely white surrounding (which always makes Jaemin wonder why white is the standard, like, can’t people be more creative and have light pink? Or even pastel blue!).

“Seeing you, I guess I am not dead yet.” Jaemin sat up and grinned at Hansol whom was gaping with tears pooling in his eyes, already threatening to stain his cheeks. Jaemin is still not aware of Jeno’s presence in his room and continued to grin at Hansol.

Hansol strode towards his cousin and engulfed the younger into a tight hug, “You psychopath! How dare you pull a stunt like that?! I swear I will live in your dorm until you finish college and make sure you eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks in between!” Jaemin just chuckled at his hyung’s drama and appeased the crying elder by patting his head, “Sure, you can also monitor if I ate my midnight snacks.”

Hansol, though still loathing Jeno, let go of his baby cousin and turned towards him, “I still hate you for causing my cousin’s crazy stunt. However, I would like to give you a chance to reclaim his trust.”

Jaemin whipped his head towards the male in question and widened his eyes. It is obvious how ready he is to sprint away when Yuta walked over and prevented him by placing a hand on his shoulders and shook his head, “nope, not this time buddy. You are staying here and you will be fixing this fucked up mess you and Jeno are in.” He smirked before pulling Hansol away from the room.

Jeno tried to stand up and walk towards Jaemin’s bed despite his wobbly legs. Jaemin, on the other hand, tremble against the intensity of the other’s eyes upon him.

“Would you let me explain?”

Jaemin can’t reject, this talk have been prolonged too much already, and is already tired of running away from both his feelings and the truth, so he nodded, he nodded and finally kicked off all of the covers which, although prevented him from pain at first, became the cause of his demise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost 1 month late, and I am deeply resentful regarding that. It's just that, things became hectic when classes started and I could almost not insert this amidst my commitments. I still hoped you enjoyed this, and the next chapter would finally be the last, well, technically second to the last if I thought I could fit an epilogue somewhere. I do not know when I can post the next chapter, but hopefully, it doesn't reach until August, because dang, first, too many responsibilities, and then college entrance examinations. 
> 
> So, 'till then, please bear with Nana being Nana.


	7. Finally Picking Up The Trash and Starting on the Right Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin and Jeno finally sat down and had a talk. Like normal human beings do.

Jeno felt a small chunk was taken away from the huge lump which was weighing down his chest when he received Jaemin’s approval; this will surely take a long ass time explaining, but at least he’s already cleared level 1, now he’s onto steps 2 to 7, and to achieve that, he must stop getting sucked into his nonsensical thoughts and start explaining.

“Renjun and I never came to be,” Jeno began, testing the waters and trying to find the best way to explain his side to Jaemin, when he noticed that the latter is still calm- probably due to the drug given to him earlier- he continued speaking, “we got closer due to him having unfinished feelings with Yukhei-hyung, and although he might behead me for ousting his secret, I never liked him and he never liked me, like Nana, it’s practically incest; that airhead is like a brother.”

Jaemin nodded along to Jeno’s explanation, he made no move to respond in fear of letting out another mistake which will take another lifetime to fix. As Jeno noticed that Jaemin made no move to interrupt nor does the younger look displeased and doubtful, he continued explaining himself.

“I was already acquainted with Injun due to your friendship, but our intimacy was rooted due to Yukhei-hyung’s disgusting attempts at reclaiming him, it was actually frustrating to watch the two of them. Everyone knows they still have a chance if only Renjun let Yukhei-hyung.” Jeno scrunched his face as he described Renjun and Yukhei’s hopeless situation.

Jaemin gaped at the discovery, it was surprising how firm Renjun was despite looking like an airhead. To think that the redhead still has feelings for Yukhei all this time, imagine the frustration and amusement. Renjun still stands by his choice of leaving Yukhei for his feud against Jaemin years earlier. Jaemin smiles.

“I want to exclaim at how oblivious I am towards Injunnie and Yukhei’s – that asshole- situation when I am his friend and how I should know that much, but I will not comment, so continue.” Jaemin remarked before motioning for the other male to continue.

Jeno closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in order to calm himself down. This is it, he’s going to admit his feelings, and this is far from romantic, please kick him in the shins-

“Uhm, the thing is, you are the one I like. I like you Na Jaemin, even before puberty hit you, even before everybody started noticing you, I like you. And for the record, I never stopped liking you even for a second.” Jeno looked down as he played with the plastic bread knife Hansol was itching to stab him with earlier. He knows that this is far from romantic, nor is it near from the confession date he’s been planning for weeks (he’s going to get that goddamn refund from Johnny), but he thinks that the unprecedented nature of this must have add some romance. Hopefully.

Jaemin, on the other hand, cannot believe what he just heard. If you told him that the Earth is flat, he would have pondered and give it some thought, because in his case, it is actually plausible, but if you told the Na Jaemin from a week ago that Lee Jeno will be confessing to him that the latter have liked him from the longest of time, even longer than he did, then he would have punched you and called you insane (but if you told him that he would be hospitalized because of his overly dramatic nature, then he would have pondered over it before agreeing). “I-” he began but got cut off when Jeno raised his hand to shush him, “Let me finish first.” And Jaemin, being the obedient child that he is, kept mum despite the countless questions filling his brain currently.

From his current position which is the window, he moved closer to the bed before carefully sitting beside Jaemin. “I only gained confidence when Sanha ousted me, being the loudmouth that he is. I started my advances towards you even with the fear and anxiety of getting rejected, because I thought that I may at least have a chance?” Jeno scratched his head due to the embarrassment caused by his earlier self.

Jaemin chuckled at this, inquiring, “And what made you think that you had a chance back then?” His question is full of curiosity, merely inquiring instead of being the usual sarcastic ass he is. Upon the question, Jeno reddened but mumbled nonetheless, “Well… I heard you agree that I was handsome… so…” Hearing the adorable answer, Jaemin burst out laughing, laughing in mirth, not his usual malicious cackle, because seriously, Lee Jeno cannot get any more adorable as he struggled to make out his words. Jeno blushed even more in embarrassment but bear no grudge, just plain shame at his idiot previous self. He’s silently ecstatic that Jaemin’s laughing though, even at the expense of his pride. Totally a love fool.

After Jaemin gained back his senses, Jeno looked at his lap once more and continued on his failure of a confession. “After Sanha ousted me, I got bolder and asked Chani to find out whenever you head out in order for me to catch even a short glimpse of you. It was hard at first, considering how you always bring your own lunch and eat at the speed of light, so we had to go grab our lunch early in order to catch you as you were heading towards the bathrooms to brush your teeth.“ At Jeno’s revelation, Jaemin widened his eyes as he clearly recalled crossing paths with the former almost every day, he first thought that it must be _coincidence_ (even though he started doubting it as it happens _very_ frequently), but learning the lengths Jeno did just to achieve those little things, it caused his stomach to churn which did not bode well to his bruised stomach and intestines. Lee Jeno needs to stop this charade for his stomach can only take so much, but he does not have the heart to stop the other male from continuing; it must have taken so much courage to be the one to confess.

“You know, I tried to confess to you.” Jeno finally looked up and stared into Jaemin’s eyes, “Really?! How come I am not aware?!” the latter exclaimed in which Jeno nodded as he smiled sadly, turning his eyes back onto his lap. “I did,” melancholy laced in his voice, “I tried, at the school dance. I actually planned it weeks before, and right before, I almost chickened out had Jinyoung did not pull me back and pushed me towards you who were fixing something on your bag. I tried my best to be your first dance of the night, hopefully to remain your only and last dance, but our other batchmates already beat me to it. I also almost gave up when I saw you dance both with Hwall and Renjun, the valedictorian and your almost three-year crush. I suddenly doubt my chance for your affections seeing two strong candidates go before me, not to mention how long you dance with Hwall, for among all of our batchmates whom you danced with, he was the longest, even longer than our barely a minute dance.” Jeno paused bitterly, the memory of the school dance returning to him, but he continued, “I finally mustered up the courage after hours of getting dragged around by various males and females to dance with them, and of course after Jinyoung’s threat of arson against my room. I was walking up to you blindly then, I was so nervous that I did not realized how rude I must have seem seeing that I just ushered you to the dance floor without actually receiving your approval, I was also blinded by my nerves that I did not noticed that you were still wearing your earplugs when I confessed, that’s why when you suddenly exclaimed for me to repeat my confession, I finally lost my shit and let you go. After that, the pain was so unbearable that I cannot bear to see you without feeling the impulse to run, even when you would look at me with your trademark confusion, so I stayed away, tried to collect my senses back before trying to act normally again.”

Hearing the truth about what Jeno said to him years ago, Jaemin gasped and covered his mouth in shock. He agonized about it for weeks, about what Jeno _told_ him while they were dancing, how he deemed himself such an idiot for wearing earphones on the dance floor, how he blamed Jeno for being brash and it was his fault that Jaemin did not hear what the former said. After finally hearing it from Jeno, after all these years, Jaemin can finally stop agonizing over what ifs, and think of how much of an idiot and asshole he was for removing the light and smile on Jeno’s face. He was such an idiot.

Jaemin grabbed Jeno’s left hand as he tried to fumble his words. “I- I- I did not know. I thought that it was nothing, but it bothered me as well considering how outraged Chani was when I told him that I did not managed to caught what you said, but I brushed it off- Oh my god Jeno, I’m so sorry! All this time I thought you were the jerk between the both of us when it has all been me! I-” Jaemin kept on tripping on his words upon realizing that all of this shit happened because he was the oblivious fool between the two of them. He was the root cause of all these absurdity, folly, buffoonery, foolishness, idiocy, ludicrousness, Jeno must consider him ridiculous now.

Jeno took Jaemin’s hand which was atop his and squeezed it near his heart, shaking his head, indicating that he’s still got a lot to say, “No, I was the coward, I let you go just because I was disheartened. I really thought that I will be able to forget about you and move on, how terribly wrong I was. I always find myself checking your SNS accounts, wanting to like your selcas, but never gaining the courage to do so. I thought that it will be short-lived, but it never went away; by the end of the day, I still dream about the time we never had due to my cowardice, by the end of the day, I still regret all of the chances I let slip.” Moving closer to the admitted male, Jeno looked into his eyes while tightening his hold on Jaemin’s hand a little bit, “I can’t change the past, but I want to spend tomorrow with you. Please let me in your life Jaemin, just as you have always been in mine.”

The two felt their eyes prickling, tears finally streaming down their faces. They have endured for years, they both struggled to move on when it’s impossible as they like each other to the moon and back, they both struggled with uncertainty, and dude, everybody suffered because of their pining. Had Jaemin tried to be a rational little shit, then Jeno wouldn’t be too intimidated to get near him, but no, he just had to act like the little tyrant which he is. Had Jeno just used his vocal chords more, then Jaemin wouldn’t be admitted to the hospital due to extreme gastritis and gastric ulcer, he’s got a good voice which he used for nothing just because he’s extremely nervous and afraid of rejection.  

Jaemin cried as he beat himself for thinking that his little dramatics is the cause of this whole misunderstanding whereas Jeno cried as he kept on beating himself up for causing Jaemin pain. This two seriously needs a counselor.

After calming down, Jaemin gulped, his answer is the final nail in order to seal the coffin and bury all of those bad happenings in the grave, and he’s more than delighted to give his answer.

“Yes Jeno, please help me fix this whole fucking charade. Let’s end all of this shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to deeply express both my apologies and gratitude to all of you. 
> 
> First, my apologies.  
> I would like to apologize for taking thiiiisssssss long before updating. I understand if all of you already left this fic. I am deeply sorry. Aside from that, I would also like to apologize for giving you this little shit.
> 
> The thing is, when I wanted to updated this fic of mine, as I have stated on my AFF note of hiatus, my laptop crashed and came back a few weeks later. After that little demise, I faced school troubles which affected me a lot, thus, leaving this hanging. 
> 
> When Nana finally came back, I actually wanted to end this after months of leaving it hanging, especially with an angst at that, but shit just happened. 
> 
> Now, I am finally trying to finish this crap that I started. I want to make up for my ult ship.
> 
> Second, I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude for anybody who's reading this at this point, and those who read it before that, the fact that this received hits is more than anything which I could ask for. Thank you for giving my creation a chance despite all of my misgivings.
> 
> This time, I'll finally end this. The next chapter, which is the Epilogue won't take that long, and although it won't be as long, it will just act as a curtain call for this story. You won't have to worry about waiting for a long ass time once more as it is already halfway done.
> 
> Thank you very much.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to ruin this. I'm sorry. *sobs pathetically in a corner*

Donghyuck is livid. They have been waiting for almost 20 minutes now for the lovey-dovey-sickly-puke-inducing-disgusting couple of the year. He thinks back when Renjun and Yukhei were still together and thought that they weren’t this too much of an eyesore. However, this is Na Jaemin we are talking about, even though his boyfriend, Lee Jeno is rational than most, the former isn’t, and to top with his irrationality, impulsiveness, and crazy antics, he just had to be the clingiest boyfriend the world has to cater.

Normal Jaemin is already late to almost everything, but with Jeno in the mix, he became twice later than usual, and Donghyuck absolutely detests tardiness. Seeing the sour mood that he has become, Mark, Renjun, Jisung, and Chen Le backed off a little in fear of having that anger directed at either of them.

“Yah! Na Jaemin! Lee Jeno! You two fucktards, come down this instant or I’ll pull you by your ankles! You are not even important in this event but we have to wait for the two of you to start!” Donghyuck finally erupted and bellowed. Not a minute later, the couple came downstairs, slightly disoriented (mostly on Jeno’s part). “Damn Hyuck, you are loud.” Jaemin rolled his eyes. The nerve of the guy, in irritation Donghyuck smacked his head, “If Yukhei hyung’s plan got ruined because of you, I’ll skin you and your boyfriend alive before leaving you out in the sun.”

Renjun, the ever-oblivious member of the group, furrowed his eyebrows upon hearing his ex-boyfriend’s name in the issue. “What’s got Yukhei got to do with our picnic?” And everybody froze at his words. Damn Donghyuck and his anger management issues.

Mark, in hopes of mending the damage, fumbles and tried to cover it up with his ill-patched lie. “D-did we mention any Yukhei? Ha. Ha. Y-you must have been hearing things- yeah, you heard it wrong Injunnie. Ha. Ha.” Smooth.

Renjun crossed his arms at that though, as if he’d believe a terrible liar like Mark. Raising his eyebrows, he looked at them critically, “I may be oblivious to most things, but I am not deaf. Speak up people.”

Everybody panicked and started rambling randomly in order to either explain the situation to Renjun or totally doing a bad job at covering it up ( _“Hyung! The weather outside is good! Let’s go to the waterpark!” – Jisung; “It wasn’t my fault ge! They threatened me!” – Chen Le; “Chen Le you backstabbing little shit!” – Donghyuck; “I think the waterpark idea is good Ji! Let’s go~!” – Mark_ ). Jaemin, seeing the mess the other four are currently in (Jeno silently snuck out to call the others who are already at the park), rolled his eyes before silently pulling Renjun out of the crossfire.

After situating themselves in the dining room, Jaemin took Renjun’s hand into his and smiled to his best friend who was once his crush. “Tell me what’s happening Jaem, because I’m honestly lost right here. Like, what does Yukhei got to do with anything?” Renjun complained exasperatedly to his best friend. He honestly still harbors feelings for Yukhei, but he doesn’t really want to sabotage his friendship with Jaemin because of the former considering the latter’s nasty experiences due to his ex-boyfriend.

And Jaemin is perfectly aware of this. For the last two weeks, he had been helping Yukhei to conjure this perfect little event in order to reunite with his past love. With the help of his boyfriend (Jaemin’s still being a giddy little shit thinking that Jeno’s now finally _his_ boyfriend, he had the audacity to shiver at the mere thought of it) and the hyungs, he managed to loop in the kids in order to keep Renjun in the dark until they get there. Well, that was originally the plan. He did not manage to take into account his habitual tardiness and _Jeno_.

He wants his best friend’s happiness as much as he wants his, heck, he could live and die lonely as long as all of his friends are basking in happiness and affections. Since Renjun won’t really initiate to try a second chance in happiness with Yukhei nor he entertains any _obvious_ advances from the latter, Jaemin decided that they catch him off-guard and give him no choice. Yep, totally genius.

Jaemin hugged Renjun, “Jun, I want your happiness too. I don’t want you to sacrifice just because Yukhei – the bastard may he rest in peace- ow! I was joking! – and I had a beef when we were like? I don’t know- Freshmen? It was actually stupid if you ask me. So, Jun, for everybody’s welfare – Donghyuck is going crazy at this whole charade – just please follow your heart and jump into Yukhei’s arms.” At that point, Renjun was already silently sobbing, clutching Jaemin’s shirt while muttering ‘thanks’ and ‘I have the best best friend ever.’

Jaemin smiles as he locks gazes with Jeno who was actually standing along the doorway after his call with the hyungs, informing them that they might run a little late ( _“Jeno-yah, can you at least make them hurry? Yukhei’s having a breakdown right now- Yah! Wong Yukhei! Get down from that goddamn tree! Jungwoo! Pull that idiot down here! – Please Jeno, I think I’m gonna get sick.” - Taeyong_ ). He was proud of his boyfriend and his friend, because although he can finally call Jaemin _his_ , Yukhei’s futile pining and Renjun’s useless attempts at feigning indifference is getting tiring. At least it can finally end.

“I hate to interrupt, but we have to hurry. Yukhei hyung’s going crazy and the hyungs’ are going crazy because of it. Last time I heard, he was tying his collar on a branch that’s as high as Jungwoo hyung.” Jeno finally knocked and broke the intimate moment the two had. They finally had to get going.

 

 

 

With cicadas buzzing against the chilly night, Jeno and Jaemin snuggled closer to each other as they continue to gaze upon the night sky in Jeno’s shared house backyard on a large hammock ( _“You two are still minors, you need adult supervision. And no, Mark is not included.” - Doyoung_ ). Currently playing thumb wrestling, Jaemin giggles when he finally won over Jeno after minutes of failed attempts.

It’s actually their first time to bask in each other’s presence without annoying hyungs (mostly Hansol) and dongsaengs (mostly Donghyuck and Chen Le) lurking around. No, bedroom cuddles do not count. Everybody in Jeno’s shared house was out, aside from Doyoung who doesn’t really have the heart to cockblock them, leaving the two in their own little bubble of serenity.

They both feel contented, this must be the euphoric feeling when one achieves the prize after working hard for it for so long, this must be the start of the extreme happiness life has in store. They’re aware that they have to face various obstacles sooner or later, with Jaemin’s insecurities and Jeno’s inability to voice his feelings, their flaws are bound to catch up to them. They’re worried but not anxious, because although Jaemin still feels as if his thoughts are eating him, he’s got Jeno’s warm hands which always squeezes his thighs in both query and an attempt to soothe him, and although Jeno still lacks the verbal ability to express his thoughts and feelings which are essential for communication to happen, Jaemin is finally there to take his time and understand his nonverbal messages, because that’s what Jaemin is apt at.

Jeno stopped their game and took his boyfriend’s hand before pressing it close to his heart, pressing a gentle kiss on the other’s forehead. Jaemin sighed as he closed his eyes muttering under his breath, “This feels so nice, Jeno-yah.” Jeno hummed before pulling his boyfriend closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of Jaemin’s head, “How did it even took so long before we found ourselves in each other’s arms?” Jaemin looked up to Jeno at the latter’s words before looking down, deep in thought.

It really is both amusing and melancholic to look back. If one were to ask both the Jeno and Jaemin from last year whether it is possible for them to achieve each other or not, the both would look down in imminent grief before sporting matching façades and answer a pathetic “no.” The two of them know that they have been cowards, they have been eaten by their fear of the unknown that it paralyzed them from taking a step towards each other.

The aforementioned thought crossed Jaemin’s mind that fear suddenly crept inside him, the fear of losing Jeno after all of his hardship simultaneously clenched his chest, constricting his breath, making him teary. “Jeno… What if this is fleeting? What- what if I lose you after all of _these_?” Jaemin looked up at Jeno, his eyes already brimming with tears just because his insecurities started kicking in.

Jeno tightened his hold on the younger male, understanding the impact of his rhetorical question. He knows that even the tiniest of things can trigger Jaemin’s anxiety, he’s aware of how extremely sensitive the younger actually is despite seeming like a tyrant, he’s aware of all of these little flaws which makes up Jaemin and he understands. He understands all of it and accepts it. “Do you actually think that I’ll let you go after all of the shit that I have gone through? Sorry mister, that isn’t happening any time soon, nor will it ever happen.” He smiled down and placed a chaste kiss on Jaemin’s lips, a seal of his promise.

Both are flawed to their bones. They weren’t made for each other nor were they destined together, but they compromised, they desperately wish to complement each other and they’re willing to go to extreme lengths just to achieve it. Jeno never thought that he could grasp the severity of Jaemin’s demons, but recently, he can handle Jaemin’s emotional outbreaks without having to call Hansol nor Taeyong in exasperation. Jaemin never thought that he could be reassured especially with Jeno’s horrible ability to vocalize, but now, he’s starting to believe that the latter loves him.

Both are extremities, both are destructive, but they’re making it work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Author's Note:
> 
> So my dear friends, that is the closure of What A Long Ass Ride. First, I would like to apologize if this chapter (this whole fic, rather), is subpar and did not meet your expectations. I would also like to apologize for the late posting of this, I never expected college would be this tough (I'm not complaining though, I'm in my dream major). 
> 
> I know that Chapters 4 to recent (or was it 5? I can't remember, it's the one where Jaemin starved himself) posed questions and possibilities which said questions and possibilities ultimately opened various plot holes, and I'm sorry for that. Hopefully, this little chapter answered some of the questions although I can't promise you that it won't pose more in exchange. 
> 
> I would like to thank each and every one of you who stuck with me until the end, even those who couldn't make it until the last chapter, I thank you all for giving this little shit a chance.
> 
> So fellas, this has been What A Long Ass Ride. It truly was a long ass ride.


End file.
